翻譯：莉莉絲
3. 總是為他們找藉口 – 當一個m因為疏忽而非刻意犯錯時，S總以為自己也必須負擔部分責任。覺得m的疏失必然也是自己的疏失，我想這對於任何一個領導者來說都是蠻正常的想法 。「或許我沒有將我的期待與規則對她充分闡述清楚？還是我沒有提供她足夠的訓練呢？」我們總願意相信自己的m是百分之百的投入，跟我們一樣想要表現她最好的一面。這樣的想法讓我們習慣為m找藉口，甚至為了她的錯誤而責怪自己。我們都想要對自己的m有信心，但是對她的越舉睜一隻眼閉一隻眼或著是活在對自己的否定當中，都不是正確的方式。你應該要讓你的m理解，規矩不是由她訂的，即使不是故意犯錯，她都必須承擔該有的後果。
你應該這麼做
如果你的m因為粗心大意、一時疏忽而犯錯，一定要給予適當的矯正。並且對她解釋她哪裡做錯了，確定她理解自己接受處罰的原因，才不會讓她感覺不公平或不合理。如果她並非因為疏忽或粗心大意而犯下明顯的錯誤，且對你誠實以告，那麼這時處罰或許就不需要，你應該和她一起坐下來討論這件事，確定她明白下次該怎麼做。目標永遠是避免她因為忽視犯錯的原因，而一再犯下相同的錯誤。許多時候，你知道她因為自己讓你失望，已經流下眼淚，看起來好像她已經充分對不當的行為自我處罰了，但是就像先前所陳述的，當情況是應該要給予處罰時，請毫不猶豫的執行，
3. Always Make Excuses for Them – When a submissive makes a mistake or breaks a
rule perhaps not intentionally but out of negligence, it is always a temptation
for a Dom to feel partly responsible. I think is quite normal for a Dom
like anyone in a leadership position of any kind to feel that he has failed too
whenever a subordinate fails. Perhaps I didn’t communicate the rule or
expectation clearly enough or I didn’t do an adequate job of training
her. We want to believe in our submissive and feel like she always gives one
hundred-percent effort and does her best. This can lead us to
rationalize, to make excuses for her, perhaps to even blame ourselves and take
upon ourselves the responsibility for her mistake or error. While we all
want to have confidence in our submissive girls, turning a blind eye to their
transgressions or living in denial is not the answer. You must make your
submissive understand she is not above the rules and that even unintentional
mistakes when due to negligence have repercussions.
What to do instead: If your submissive makes a mistake due to
carelessness, negligence, or purposely disregards a rule or to meet an
expectation, take the appropriate corrective action, impose discipline if it is
warranted. Do explain what she did wrong and make certain she understands
why she is being disciplined so she doesn’t end up feeling you are being unfair
or unreasonable. If however, she makes an honest mistake, a situation
where she was neither clearly carelessness or negligent, then perhaps instead
of discipline just sitting her down and talking it out may adequately take care
of the situation. The goal is always to keep her from repeating the same
mistakes over and over regardless of what the causative factors were.
Oftentimes, just knowing she has disappointed you might reduce her to tears and
it can seem that she has punished herself enough for a misdeed. But as
mentioned earlier in the discussion about corrective discipline, don’t hesitate
to use it when a situation clearly calls for it.
迫不及的人就先看看原文吧。
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