翻譯：莉莉絲
2. 沒有管教 – 如果m爬到你頭上、試圖挑戰你訂下的規則、沒有達成指令與期待，或說了做了不被允許的事情，你絕對不能姑息或當做沒事。缺乏規矩在一個主奴關係裡常是源自於將伴侶視為老婆或女朋友而非m的關係。要管教你所愛的對象很難且甚至你自己都厭惡如此做，這是很自然的，所以很多S即使是在被充分授權之下都不願實施應該為之的矯正行為。他們自我合理化訂定規矩是負面的行不通的，他們的m一點都不需要規範。殊不知這將會培育m相信自己的壞習慣不會產生任何不良後果。
這種情形會導致主奴關係中更嚴重的問題。就像孩子總愛用行為來挑戰大人訂下的規範與界線一樣，m也是如此。建立一個清楚的界線反而能讓大多數m感覺到她們需要的安全感與被保護照顧的感覺。很多時候她們爬到S的頭上並不是真的意圖不軌，而只是想要確認自己還是確實的被S管教照顧著。所以如果缺乏對不恰當行為的對應後果，好與壞的界線就會模糊或不存在，而m則會開始感覺不安與不被保護。
你應該這麼做
替你的m訂下清楚而一致的規則與後果。確定她真的了解你的期待，知道自己哪些該做哪些不該做，怎麼樣的行為是合宜的。當她越界的時候你需要馬上站出來給予適當的矯正與處置。不一定都要是對身體的處罰，當然有時候這很有效且不費時，但是如果你的m很享受被打屁股，那打屁股就不是一項非常有效的處罰。取消一項她很享受的特權在這種情形下就相對的有效多了。記得和她說明清楚，確認她了解自己因為自己的壞行為而受到對應的處罰，不要處罰過了頭。要確認該處罰對於犯罪行為來說是合適與恰當的。
2. Don’t Discipline – If your submissive acts out, breaks the
rules, fails to complete a chore or assignment according to your expectations,
or says or does something disrespectful, you can’t overlook it and do
nothing. Lack of discipline in a dominance/submissive relationship often
stems again from seeing your partner more as your wife or girlfriend than as
your submissive. It is quite natural to find it hard and even to loathe
having to discipline someone you love, so many dominants are disinclined to
administer corrective discipline even when it is clearly warranted. They
rationalize it by convincing themselves that discipline either is a negative
thing that doesn’t really work or else that their submissive doesn’t need
it. This fosters in a submissive the belief that there are never any
consequences for bad behavior.
That
kind of situation can lead to serious problems in your relationship. Just
as children thrive with boundaries and rules of behavior, so does a
submissive. The need to have firmly established boundaries is something
most submissive women need to feel safe, secure, and protected. Many
times they will intentionally act out not because they just feel like
misbehaving but to test the boundaries to make certain they are still firmly in
place. In the absence of consequences for bad behavior, the line between
good and bad can become blurred or seem non-existent and a submissive can start
to feel insecure and unprotected.
What to do instead: Set clear and consistent rules and consequences
for your submissive. Make certain that she clearly understands your
expectations as to what she is to do and how she is to behave. If she
acts out you need to Dom up and mete out appropriate corrective discipline.
It doesn’t always have to be corporal punishment. That can be effective
and timely but some submissive women enjoy things like OTK spanking and so in
such cases using that for discipline wouldn’t be very effective. Taking
away a privilege she enjoys can be in such cases much more effective. Do
remember to talk with her and to make certain she understands why she is being
disciplined and don’t go overboard. Make certain the punishment fits the
crime.
迫不及的人就先看看原文吧。
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