29 Apr 2015

【轉載&翻譯】六種損毀主奴關係的S常犯錯誤 (第二條--沒有管教 )


2. 沒有管教 如果m爬到你頭上、試圖挑戰你訂下的規則、沒有達成指令與期待,或說了做了不被允許的事情,你絕對不能姑息或當做沒事。缺乏規矩在一個主奴關係裡常是源自於將伴侶視為老婆或女朋友而非m的關係。要管教你所愛的對象很難且甚至你自己都厭惡如此做,這是很自然的,所以很多S即使是在被充分授權之下都不願實施應該為之的矯正行為。他們自我合理化訂定規矩是負面的行不通的,他們的m一點都不需要規範。殊不知這將會培育m相信自己的壞習慣不會產生任何不良後果。




2.  Don’t Discipline – If your submissive acts out, breaks the rules, fails to complete a chore or assignment according to your expectations, or says or does something disrespectful, you can’t overlook it and do nothing.  Lack of discipline in a dominance/submissive relationship often stems again from seeing your partner more as your wife or girlfriend than as your submissive.  It is quite natural to find it hard and even to loathe having to discipline someone you love, so many dominants are disinclined to administer corrective discipline even when it is clearly warranted.  They rationalize it by convincing themselves that discipline either is a negative thing that doesn’t really work or else that their submissive doesn’t need it.  This fosters in a submissive the belief that there are never any consequences for bad behavior.
That kind of situation can lead to serious problems in your relationship.  Just as children thrive with boundaries and rules of behavior, so does a submissive.  The need to have firmly established boundaries is something most submissive women need to feel safe, secure, and protected.  Many times they will intentionally act out not because they just feel like misbehaving but to test the boundaries to make certain they are still firmly in place.  In the absence of consequences for bad behavior, the line between good and bad can become blurred or seem non-existent and a submissive can start to feel insecure and unprotected.

What to do instead: Set clear and consistent rules and consequences for your submissive.  Make certain that she clearly understands your expectations as to what she is to do and how she is to behave.  If she acts out you need to Dom up and mete out appropriate corrective discipline.  It doesn’t always have to be corporal punishment.  That can be effective and timely but some submissive women enjoy things like OTK spanking and so in such cases using that for discipline wouldn’t be very effective.  Taking away a privilege she enjoys can be in such cases much more effective.  Do remember to talk with her and to make certain she understands why she is being disciplined and don’t go overboard.  Make certain the punishment fits the crime.

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